This is a part of a funny list I found recently entitled 'You Know You've Lived in Taiwan Too Long When...'; it captures many of the hilarious things that I love about Taiwan!
1. Someone doesn't stare at you and you wonder why.
-I've had numerous people stop me on the street or in restaurants just to ask to take a picture
of me, not with me.
2. You stare at other foreigners.
-My roommates and I have a game going called "spot the foreigner" - goal is to see the most foreigners first when we are out together!
3. 70 degrees Fahrenheit feels cold.
-After the sweltering summer heat, this is true!
4. You don't notice the smell.
-Everywhere and everything has a smell here (not necessarily bad), especially the streets.
5. You see three people on a motorcycle and figure there's room for two more.
-Or at least a dog or 2.
6. You leave the plastic on new furniture and appliances.
-The cling-film plastic that protects new things during shipping is always left on things here, along with the stickers of all the selling points...I guess they will be prepared at any point should they need to return anything!
7. The shortest distance between two points involves going through an alley.
8. You wear blue rubber flip-flops at work.
-Everybody wears indoor shoes here, at home and work and even some stores, and these cheap 30NT (~US$1) flipflops are very common. Many of the street food vendors also wear them.
9. Over half of your clothes were bought at night markets.
-The selection is very hit or miss, but there is an absolutely huge assortment of things, all very cheap. So cheap that I find myself rejecting a shirt because it is 'so expensive' . . . when it is 500NT (~$15). Many decent shirts are about 200NT ($6).
10. You become an expert on bug zappers: the best brands & where to get them.
-While I have yet to buy one, I have heard discussions amongst very different groups of people about why certain electric racquets are better because 'they don't just kill mosquitoes, they kill cockroaches too!'
11. Pizza just doesn't taste right unless there's corn on it.
-It is hard to find pizza without it.
12. You can de-bone a piece of chicken in your mouth within seconds.
-A necessary skill in order to not go hungry. Chicken here is just chopped any which-way with a huge cleaver to cut through any bones that are in the way. As a result there are also many bone slivers to watch out for...
13. Squat toilets seem normal.
-These toilets are built into the floor and you 'squat' over them. I still wonder how elderly people use them, and often there is no other option in restaurants and public places.
14. When the fashions in the stores look really hip.
-Many of the stlyes are unbelievably put together and are so strange looking. Just one example I saw on the bus today: A 45-year-old woman wearing a Scandinavian looking knit sweater with big green camouflage pants with 'Love' written in big pink letters on the backside. High-heeled sneakers completed the look.
15. Your pinkie nail is over one inch long.
-This is getting less common but you still see it on a lot of people. I've tried to ask why, and I've heard everything from it being a status marker showing you don't have to work very hard to it warding away evil spirits and casting spells on your enemies.
16. You've left umbrellas in more than 3 restaurants.
-I'm already on umbrella #5. It would be a bigger problem except they are dirt cheap and just about every store under the sun (or rain clouds) sells them here.
17. You keep stuffed animals in your car.
-Enough said.
18. You get used to the habit of not paying any tips while traveling.
-All prices here include tax and tip (if applicable.)
19. Your first reaction in buying things is to ask for discounts.
-Most places, except department and proper grocery stores (as opposed to outdoor markets), you are expected to bargain for things. If you look hesitant when looking at something for sale, usually the sales person usually offers you 'a special price, just for you!'
20. "A", "an" and "the" aren't necessary parts of speech, but "so" is.
- When speaking to a Taiwanese in English, the first 3 are all optional. "So" is so commonly used along with adjectives that it seems they learned it was mandatory. (You are
so young,
so good,
so bad!...etc)
21. Your answer to an "either/or" question is "yes".
-Again, common when speaking to a Taiwanese.
22. You say "Wei?" instead of "Hello?" when you pick up the phone.
-This word is like 'hello,' but it is only used over the phone. Even though it's such a short word, I've heard oodles of slightly different pronunciations.
23. You can no longer tell the difference between a cracker and a cookie or toast and bread.
-These are used interchangeably.
24. You go into 7-11
at least once a day.
-7-11s are different because you can pretty much do anything there: pay bills, buy movie and concert tickets, find Hello Kitty wine, pickup internet shopping purchases, order a latte, scan documents and make copies, buy dried fish snacks or freshly microwaved popcorn or dumplings or beer or special garbage bags or hot dogs....
25. The main reason you stop at a 7-11 is to buy tea eggs.
-Strange as these sound and look (they are hard-boiled and are a dark brown color), they don't taste like tea but are very salty.
26. You look both ways before crossing the sidewalk.
-Scooters, weaving bicyclists, stray dogs and cats, and tofu carts are all common occupants of the sidewalk, as well as very slow walkers.
27. You turn left from the right lane.
-Scooters cannot make direct left turns on most streets; they have to go to the perpendicular street to the right to wait in a special box until that light turns so they can go straight (confusing as it sounds, it seems to make traffic flow easier.)
28. There are more things strapped to your motorcycle than you ever put in a car.
-I've seen 7 canisters of compressed gas strapped on the back. . . !
29. You drive on the shoulder to pass traffic.
-Because it is regarded by everyone here (including the police) as just another lane to drive in.
30. Your preferred parking spot is on a sidewalk.
-This
usually just applies to scooters, but on any road except a main one, it also applies to cars. I am in awe at some of the amazing park-jobs I have seen. No wonder the driving test includes a portion on driving backwards in an 'S' shape!
31. Most meaningful conversations take place in doorways or on slow-moving motorcycles.
32. You start cutting off the gravel trucks.
-Even though scooters are smaller and more vulnerable, they have no hesitation about cutting in front of any moving vehicle.
33.The red light is merely suggestive to you.